Tribute to a Fallen Idol

How has it already been 10 years since she died? I still can't even believe she's gone.

Princess Diana was my absolute idol when I was growing up. I was 9 years old when the Royal Wedding took place and I still remember waking up at 5:00 a.m. to see the celebration from the very beginning. The whole day was just about the best thing ever as far as I was concerned. Surprisingly, her going-away outfit had more of an impact on me than her wedding dress. I thought the frilly peach dress & jacket she wore was SO pretty & don't even get me started on her ostrich-plumed triangular hat! I coveted that hat. I think I still do.

Ten years later, I lived in England for six months & when I finally got to see Buckingham Palace, I stared at those windows for a long time, hoping to catch a glimpse of HER, walking through the halls. When I took a trip to Harrod's, I wished that she would just happen to be there at the same time so we could meet. And when it was time for me to leave London, I never thought I'd be saying goodbye to the only chance I might have had, however remote, of actually seeing her in real life.

Like so many others, I'll never forget "that night". August 31, 1997. Marn, Merd & I were moving into Toronto that weekend and it cast quite a pall over what should have been an exciting event in our lives. To me, there was an eerie calm to everything for quite some time. The disbelief that my childhood superstar was gone enveloped me. The sadness was intense.

And now, watching all of the specials about her life during this last week has been a little bizarre...almost like rediscovering a part of myself I'd forgotten about. She's so familiar to me; it's nice to see her again on TV & on the covers of magazines. Maybe I just haven't realized how much I've missed her.

Even though that old familiarity still exists, I also feel like I've been seeing her in a different light this week. She seems more "real" than the sparkling image of a princess I used to see. And tonight, I finally figured out why. It's b/c we're the same age now. She's been frozen in time for the last 10 years, stuck at age 36. And now that I'm almost 36 myself, I can relate to her more as a woman. Now when I see her, it feels like I'm watching an old friend I haven't seen in a while.

Seeing William & Harry, & how well they appear to be doing, has been reassuring as well. They were so young to have lost their mother under such tragic circumstances, but she shines through in each of them. And that's really nice to see.

Royally,
PortlandGirl